time is always an issue

As a teacher, I find it so very frustrating that I simply cannot accept my time limitations. For the past three years, I have been a self-contained fourth grade teacher. I loved it. All my teammates were departmentalized. I watched as they struggled to keep their afternoon class caught up to their a.m. counterparts. I watched as they tried to fit in a full workshop daily. I watched as they skipped over engaging thematic units in favor of more regimented lessons that they knew they could fit in their giving time allotments. I watched as they honed those lessons and became experts in their content areas. In turn, they watched as I was able to do full thematic units based on novels. They watched as I flexed my subject times to accomodate students needs. They watched as I scrambled to various planning meetings for all my content areas.

While I was at times quite envious of their ability to focus on just their content areas. I was firm in my belief that a self-contained setting was a better fit for my teaching style. I had even convinced myself that it was better for kids. That is a different debate.

Then comes the news that I will be teaching fifth grade during the next school year. I was shocked, disheartened, excited, flattered to be chosen, bummed, and fearful in turns. My fourth grade team had worked hard, especially in the areas of math and writing, to become a collaborative unit of teachers. I relied on my teammates expertise, they seemed excited about some of the ideas I brought to the table and my ability to help them with technology. We became fast friends. I think of them still as my mentors and sisters in arms. I am going to miss planning with them each week.

On the other hand, I like the fifth grade team as well. One of them is my age and we attended college together. We are both teaching science and are passionate about environmental science. Another, I taught with during math camp two summers ago. She is a gifted teacher. Her energy and attention to detail are skills I feel I need to hone. I'm still not altogether certain why I was chosen instead of the administration hiring someone new but this is my reality and I have accepted it.

I have worked hard this summer to develop new curriculum reading units. I have poured over my districts' science workshops to figure out ways to differentiate them. I would be lying if I said I was dreading teaching fifth grade. After all, it was originally the grade I pictured myself in before I fell in love with fourth grade. I'm excited to be able to really have the opportunity to hone my reading instruction. I know I will have an ESOL cluster so I'm looking forward to working with our reading coach on some phonics skills. I have no experience in the primary grades and so I have a weak understanding of building phonics for reading. It will be a challenging year to say the least.

So, as I sit and ponder this conundrum of time, I will just take a deep breath and proceed with the knowledge that as long as I'm putting kids' needs first, everything will work out just fine.